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Derek
Be warned, this may spoil the movie for you a litte.

Leon Phelps
Alias: "The Ladies Man"
Occupation: Host of a late night call-show
Turn-Ons: Bus sation skanks, Covossier
Turn-Offs: People who are freaky or disgusting
Info: As the administrator of love advice on a popular radio show, he talks about all problems, even the ones not pleasing to the FCC. Leon grew up in Chicago, surrounded by beautiful women. The exposure made him a smooth-talking lady killer, that and his gigantic... package makes him the self-proclaimed "Ladies Man". Through the bedding of numerous married women he is hated by a group of men known as the "V.S.A." that want to cut his balls off. Not that his life doesn't work out like it would in a movie (Hey! That's a good idea! Let's make a movie about Leon!) because he manages to secure riches, a wife, and gets to keep his balls.
Some More Stuff He Likes: "Doin' it up the butt" and doggie style

Julie Simmonds
Occupation: Producer of a late night call-show
Turn-Ons: Funny, sweet, sensitive men
Turn-Offs: Her ex-fiancee
Fun Fact: Julie's parents' front porch is the perfect spot for a hung over man to crash for the night
Info: After leaving her fiancee(who was lame in the sack) Julie meets Leon, and after listening to him for a while she decides to produce him in the radio business. Leon and Julie become friends and when Leon gets them fired they stick it out together. That is until Leon gets a note from Honey DeLune.

Lester
Occupation: Bartender and owner of "Lester's Straight Up Lounge"
Info: Lester serves up drinks and serves as the narator, and he's always willing to help out his friends. Leon tends to get himself into trouble, and Lester's always there to help him out.

Honey DeLune
Alias: "Sweet Thing"
Occupation: Wife of the wealthy home security system dealer
Turn-Ons: Being with Leon in the alley outside the laudromat
Turn-Offs: Greco-Roman wrestling
Fun Fact: Honey keeps all her money on a coffe table
Info: After having a one night stand with Leon Phelps Honey longs for her stud. She writes him a letter, but signs it as "Sweet Thing" forcing Leon to back track through his list of ladies to find out who wrote the letter. After figuring out the mysterious author was Honey Leon is off to get her riches, and the only problem is she's married to Lance!

Barney
Info: Barney becomes the newest member of the V.S.A after getting a glimpse of Leon's tatoo drives him mad (well, the tatoo and the fact Leon was sleeping with his wife).
Talent: Barney is capable of getting hit in the crotch instead of hanging himself

Lance DeLune
Occupation: Successful home security system salesman
Turn-Ons: "Slamming a big, husky man... into the ground, and pinning him, so that he squirms and squeals like a little piglette!"
Turn-Offs: His wrestling partners not oiling up
Info: Lance spends a lot of time with his Greco-Roman Wrestling partner, Brian, and because of his neglect, he drives his wife to cheat on him. After catching a glance of the perpetrator from behind, and noticing the tatoo of a smiley face tatoo Lance starts a support group for other men who have had the same problem happen. They want their revenge on this "woman's dude" and they want it bad!

UPDATES:

4/19/00: WOW! I can't believe I haven't updated for this long. Accept my apologies! A lot of things have happened since the last update, such as the Michael Richards Show being terribly reviewed and getting canceled, and the Ladies Man's DVD (which must be bought by all!) has been released. For those without DVD players: you can rent it, but can't buy it on video quite yet!


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